Resilience: The Cornerstone of Your Personal Power

Resilience: The Cornerstone of Your Personal Power

Do you remember when you were a kid, and a bully called you a name or made fun of you? My Mom told me to tell either ignore them or respond with, “sticks and stones may hurt my bones but names will never hurt me!”

You might be familiar with these wise words too, “I am rubber, and you are glue.  What you say bounces off of me and sticks to you,”

Ok, I learnt quickly that saying that response out loud to a bully often led to them doubling over with laughter making the whole situation worse BUT I realised that it was powerful enough to just say it in your head as you walk away. The reality is that sometimes shit sticks, as much I said that names will never hurt me they clearly did and it has taken years to overcome the self-limiting beliefs that my personal experience created. 

Here at the Hub we teach that building resilience means equipping yourself with tools that help to grow the confidence you have in yourself; your own personal power, to cope with challenges and obstacles.

Psychologists have studied the link between resilience and personal power. They’ve determined that these key aspects of resilience help support personal power:

  • Focusing on the Present Supports Faith in Yourself
  • Learning from Your Failures Supports Self-Acceptance
  • Positive Thinking Supports Courage in Your Principles
  • Stress Management Supports Being Yourself
  • Changed Perspective Supports Choosing Your Response

Focusing on the Present Supports Faith in Yourself

Resilience requires focusing on the present. You can’t be resilient if you distract yourself from your goals by worrying about the past or future.  Learning to focus on the present supports your personal power by understanding and giving you faith in yourself.  Since you can’t change the past, you need to focus on what you can do now to improve your future.  Believing that you have the power to shape your future shows your personal control.

Learning from Your Failures Supports Self-Acceptance

Instead of blaming others, resilient people understand how they contributed to a failure. Resilient people are willing to examine their life and look for ways to overcome difficulty.  They use mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.

Acknowledging your role in failure also allows you to own your part in success.  Self-acceptance means you have worked hard to understand yourself, including your strengths and weaknesses.  When you learn from your failures, you build the self-awareness that leads to self-acceptance.  Because you accept yourself, your personal power is built on your resilience to life’s obstacles.

Positive Thinking Supports Courage in Your Principles

Even when bad things happen, resilient people think positively by looking for ways to resolve and overcome obstacles. They don’t let others define their opinions or principles.  Because resilient people stay focused on positive outcomes, they aren’t easily swayed by the negative views of others.  When you think positively, your principles are based on knowing you can and will succeed.  Your belief in yourself creates personal power.

Stress Management Supports Being Yourself

Resilient people experience stressful situations in life. Instead of letting stress overwhelm them, they have learned to manage their lives to work through stress.  Resilient people understand that not everything that causes stress is horrible or never-ending.  Stress can be a motivator and teacher too.

Knowing how to process stress and work through it supports your personal power and being yourself.  Because a resilient person doesn’t allow other’s expectations of them to cause stress, they are free to be who they are.  In fact, being true to yourself often causes less stress once you learn to feel comfortable with your opinions and principles.  Being yourself builds your personal power and allows you to take the time needed to recharge, grow, and achieve.

Changed Perspective Supports Choosing Your Response

Personal power isn’t about control over others. Personal power is control over yourself.  Resilient people’s positive perspective of learning, growing, and living in the present supports the ability to choose the best response to any situation.  Choosing your personal response without interference from negative forces is the definition of personal power.

It’s impossible to build and maintain personal power without resilience. As the cornerstone of personal power, resilience provides the skills of focusing on the present, learning and growth, positive thinking, and stress management.

These skills change your perspective and support your personal power by helping you chose your response despite outside influences by building faith in yourself and your principles, self-acceptance, and the courage to be yourself and chose your best outcome.

Why You Need Resiliency.

Why You Need Resiliency.

Resilience is a critical life skill that everyone needs to develop in order to thrive in life. Resilience describes one’s ability to recover from the challenges faced in life. Someone who is resilient does not let difficulties defeat them but rather pushes through hardships until they overcome them, no matter how hard and no matter how long. Resilience is an absolute necessity because adversity is completely unavoidable in life. Thus, the earlier one is taught resilience the better off they will be in life.

Coping Skills

One benefit of resilience is that it teaches people how to develop critical coping skills. In order to be able to bounce back from a challenge, you must learn how to navigate through that challenge. That means choosing to face the crisis head-on rather than avoiding it. In doing so, you learn how to assess a situation and respond to it properly based on the specific circumstances of that situation. You can choose a strategy that will magnify the chances of a successful outcome and a more measured emotional response (Blogger, 2019).

Patience

When we face adversity, we often want the challenge to be over quickly, but that is very rarely the case. As we adapt to the situation we learn how to wait and become patient. We learn that things often don’t change instantaneously and how to manage our emotions in the process. Thus, we are less likely to have angry, sad, or other negative emotional responses as a result of our inability to wait for our situation to improve. Instead, we learn to grow comfortable in the waiting with the ultimate knowledge that our circumstance will in fact change in the end (Campbell, 2017).

Awareness

A part of learning how to adapt to situations involves learning about ourselves too. As we review the specific challenge, we are facing we also take time to examine how we may be contributing to the issue and how our actions or attitudes can be altered in order to overcome the situation.

This awareness about our behaviors, thoughts, attitudes, and feelings helps us to learn about ourselves and make thoughtful decisions that can be applied to the scenario we are facing. It is self-discovery which leads to enhanced clarity which leads to an ability to challenge old beliefs, assess false assumptions, and remove barriers to our success (Campbell, 2017).

Support Systems

Another way resilience offers a benefit is by helping people develop support systems in their lives. As people face hardships and take steps to try to overcome those challenges, they often realize they need assistance. This leads people to reach out to family, friends, colleagues, therapists, or other individuals who can provide the physical, mental, or emotional resources needed to help them successfully navigate the situation (Blogger, 2019).

Confidence

Pressing through hardships and overcoming challenges gives us greater belief in ourselves and our abilities. We see ourselves as more competent and more capable because we’ve seen ourselves successfully navigate difficulties in the past. This confidence then puts us in a better position to approach future challenges with a more optimistic outlook, because we have a more firm belief in our abilities and our skills (Campbell, 2017).

Resiliency better equips us to not only face future challenges but to develop crucial life skills that will help us be more effective and efficient in life. As we grown in our resilience, we improve our coping skills, patience, awareness, support systems, and confidence in a way that benefits us and those around us. We then become more of an asset and better equipped to navigate any adversity we face.

References:

Blogger, G. (2019, June 25). 7 benefits of resilience training for your employees. Yoh Staffing Services: We match talent with tech. Know greater talent®. https://www.yoh.com/blog/7-benefits-of-resilience-training-for-your-employees

Campbell, S. (2017). The 8 magical benefits of resilience. Entrepreneur. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/289923

5 Characteristics of Resilient People

5 Characteristics of Resilient People

Resiliency is a character trait that is undoubtedly one of the strongest predictors for success in life. Being able to keep pushing forward in the face of adversity is necessary for anyone seeking to go above and beyond the status quo. Unfortunately, too many people lack the resilience needed to go out and get what their hearts truly desire and end up settling for less.  

There are several common traits shared by resilient individuals. The way these traits manifest themselves on an individual basis is always unique to the individuals’ interests, talents and specific goals. In this article, we will analyze 5 characteristics that are attributed to resilient people.

Being Able To Accept Delayed Gratification

Resilient people are able to understand that most of the time, taking the easy way around an obstacle results in a less optimal end result. Being able to avoid temporary pleasure and satisfaction and instead keep the long-term goal in mind is a mandatory part of accomplishing remarkable things in life.

For the most part, anything truly worthwhile involves a lot a sacrifice and hard work on the front end. Along the way, there will always be plenty of opportunities to throw in the towel and settle for good instead of great. The resilient person is great at prolonging gratification during difficult times and not allowing themselves to compromise what they are truly passionate about.

Able To Perform Outside Of Comfort Zones

As human beings, we have an inherent nature to seek comfort. Because of this, we have a strong tendency to surround ourselves in a bubble of comfort in every aspect of life. While this comfort zone is safe and familiar, it is a sure fire way to plateau success and achievement.

Stepping outside of these comfort zones is all but impossible for most people. These self-imposed boundaries are often reinforced for long periods of time. What makes resilient people so unique is their ability to shed the fear of change and the unknown, venturing out into unchartered territories in their life in search of something more.

High Sense Of Self-Worth

An unavoidable part of process of achieving big things is negative feedback and criticism from the people around us. Given that the majority of people have decided what they can and cannot do, they try to place the same limitations on everyone else. On the path to achievement, this criticism tends to continue all the way to success, where these voices of negativity suddenly begin to sing your praises.

Resilient people are able to overcome this negativity through all the obstacles and setbacks by maintaining a strong sense of self-worth. By believing in themselves when nobody else does, they are able to accomplish what no one else will.

Ability To Fail Forward

Too many people see failure as the end of the road, mission failed, game over. When faced with temporary defeat, they throw in the tail. What these types of individuals fail to realize is that failure is a necessary part of achievement.

The resilient person is always able to see failure for what it is; a lesson to be used for success on the next go around. When they fail, the use the lesson to fail BETTER the next time. Over time, these failures allow them to inch closer and closer to their goals.

Great At Seeing The Bigger Picture

Setting remarkable long-term goals while being shortsighted are two things that cannot coexist. The path to excellence and high achievement is a long and winding road full of obstacles and shortcomings. Without the ability to maintain a clear picture of the finish line, giving up prematurely is all but guaranteed.

Resilient people are able to tolerate everything thrown in their way and still maintain the strong conviction as to why they started to begin with. By keeping the big picture in mind, these individuals never lose their sense of purpose when things get hard.

5 Ways You Can Be More Resilient

5 Ways You Can Be More Resilient

Resiliency is a characteristic possessed by every individual who has ever achieved something truly worthwhile. Being able to push through difficulties, setbacks and the unrelenting obstacles that life throws your way is paramount to success in whatever it is you seek. Unfortunately, the majority of individuals look for the path of least resistance in all aspects of life. Avoiding difficulty and hard work is incredibly enticing for most.

However, if you plan on separating yourself from the status quo and actually leading a life of accomplishment, resiliency is a must. Make no mistake; resiliency is not a trait that people are born with, far from it. Becoming resilient is a process and requires hardships and difficult situations.

In this article, we will discuss 5 ways to become more resilient in your everyday life that will allow you to step out of your comfort zone and finally go after those lofty goals.

Seek Discomfort

As human beings, we have an inherent tendency to avoid discomfort. Making ourselves do things that are hard and unpleasant is not our natural instinct, even if the task is beneficial in the long run. One of the most important habits you can develop when it comes to building resilience is to actually seek out discomfort here and there.

What does this mean? Think about the things you know you should be doing, but always find an excuse to avoid executing. Maybe this is getting up early to workout, staying up well into the night to finish important assignments for school or work, or having that difficult conversation you have been putting off. You are certainly aware of whatever discomfort task in your own life that needs to be done for your own benefit.

Simply put, becoming resilient involves voluntarily attacking discomfort head on instead of coming up with yet another excuse to postpone what needs to be done.

Solidify Your “Why”

Being resilient is synonymous with refusing to give up. That being said, having a deeply rooted conviction as to why you are doing something in the first place is critical. Doing something difficult just for the sake of discomfort is highly likely to result in failure.

Take a moment to reflect back to that uncomfortable thing you always seem to put off. Instead of the difficulty involved in this task, think about the reasoning behind it. If you want to become resilient, finding your “why” behind overcoming an obstacle is a must.

Keep Your Ego In Check 

So many of us shy away from challenges for fear of how others will perceive us. Being labeled a “try-hard” has ironically taken on a negative connotation in today’s society. What you need to understand is that this is YOUR life, not a drill or dress rehearsal before the real thing. Furthermore, you are here for a short time and you can bet that one day, you will look back and regret not going after what you wanted because of what so and so thought about it.

Resiliency and ego do not coexist very neatly. Therefore, being able to drown out negative opinions from small-minded individuals is absolutely necessary to maintain a state of resilience.

Don’t Shy Away From Failure

Make no mistake; failure is as an inevitable and vitally important part of life. In order to become skillful at literally anything, there is a large amount of failure involved. Likewise, in the pursuit of anything truly worthwhile, setbacks and obstacles are a guarantee.

Every time you fail at something on your way to becoming competent, each and every occasion that you refuse to let a mistake or setback halt your progress you are building resilience. When you fail, and you will, use the situation as a lesson to fail better next time. Rest assured that beyond that last failure is hard-earned success.

Self-Talk Is Everything

The way you communicate with yourself in your mental environment has to be positive and compassionate if you want to become more resilient. So many people go through life berating themselves for every shortcoming and mistake and then wonder why other people speak to them the same way.

One thing that is certain on your path to success is that a large percentage of the people in your life will question and disagree with many of the decisions you have to make and then sing your praises when you finally accomplish the goal. YOU must be a voice of support and motivation to yourself during the hard times, really at all times. Being able to maintain your resiliency relies heavily on your ability to sustain positive self-talk.

5 Reasons Self-Care is Essential to Self-Discovery

5 Reasons Self-Care is Essential to Self-Discovery

When you’re trying to better your life and discover who you truly are, self-care can prove invaluable.

When we become overly stressed, depressed or anxious, it’s common to stop taking care of ourselves. However, this only further deepens those negative feelings, holding us back from what we’re truly capable of. The trouble is, if you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re not going to be able to connect with who you really are. 

Here, you’ll discover 5 reasons self-care is essential to self-discovery.  

  1. Preventing burnout and stress

Self-care is one of the best ways to beat burnout and stress. While a little stress is known to be good for you, too much of it can produce all kinds of negative effects in the mind and body. In fact, too much prolonged stress could actually kill you! So, ensuring you take time out to relax and look after yourself is crucial to your wellbeing.

It’s extremely difficult to discover who you are and what you want when you can’t even think clearly. So, the first step in your self-discovery journey should be to eliminate, or at least control, the stress in your life.

  1. Giving you energy and focus

When you take care of yourself, you’ll start to feel more energized and focused. Your mind and body will feel strong and ready to take on anything.

Self-discovery cannot happen if you’re constantly tired and distracted. So, by practicing self-care, you’re ensuring you have the energy and the determination to do the things you need to do in order to better yourself.  

  1. Keeping the body healthy

Of course, one of the main benefits of self-care, is the fact it keeps you healthy. This is one of the most basic self-care tasks you need to follow, but it’s also one of the most difficult to get right.

Of course, we all know we should eat healthy and exercise every day. However, it’s so easy to find a reason not to be as healthy as we should be. Assess your health and ask yourself “Am I as healthy as I could be?”. If the answer is no, it’s time to make the necessary changes needed to get healthier.

If you’re not healthy and following this basic rule of self-care, you’re going to be totally out of sync with your mind and your body. Only when we are healthy can we find our true selves. 

  1. Ensuring you get a good night’s sleep

Sleep is one of the most effective tools for self-care. When you don’t get enough sleep, the mind isn’t clear, it boosts stress levels and it negatively effects every area of your life. You’ll find self-discovery impossible if you’re sleep deprived!

If you struggle to get to sleep at night, there’s a lot of natural tips you can follow which can help. Drinking herbal tea before bed and spraying your pillows with a lavender scent can really help you to drift off. Yoga is also fantastic at tiring the body out and getting you into a healthy sleeping pattern.   

  1. Helping you to help others

It’s human nature to take care of others, but you can’t do that if you aren’t taking care of yourself. When you’re happy and healthy and truly in touch with your inner self, you’ll be in a much better position to help other people.

Self-care isn’t a selfish act. You need to ensure you’re taking care of yourself, so you can fully focus your attention and love on others. Never feel guilty for taking care of yourself first.

These are just 5 reasons self-care is essential to self-discovery. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you’re not going to be truly happy and you definitely aren’t going to be living the authentic life that you were born to lead. So, if you’ve neglected yourself recently, make a resolution to change that and make self-care a part of your daily life.

Scared of your own success?

Scared of your own success?

Scared of your own success?

 

Did you know that more people are afraid to succeed than they are to fail? There is one big reason for this, and it may surprise you when you learn about it.

When people fail, they can find all kinds of reasons or excuses as to why they failed. Others will even chime in as to why the person failed. They will say things like, “it wasn’t meant to be.” Another common one is, “your heart wasn’t in it.”

When people succeed, however. There are no excuses. The steps they took, worked. Perhaps it was a fluke that it worked. But what if it happens again? Then, there is no way out of it. Failure has an escape plan; success does not.

The reason people are afraid of success is it forces them out of their comfort zone. They now have to solidify their game plan and continue on the successful path. They can no longer tell people it can’t be done because they did it. It’s proven.

How do you overcome that fear of success? You plow through it. If you ever saw the movie Caddyshack, Ty tells Danny to “be the ball.” Although a comical reference, it means Danny needs to be one with the ball to play better golf.

 

 

You need to be one with your business concept, so to speak.

If you feel as though you can’t repeat the single success you had, think about what it took to get there, in the first place. If you can map out the steps, this can serve as your road map to repeat your success. If you find it difficult to do this, see about hiring qualified people who can help you succeed.

Another way to repeat your success is to realign your belief system. Tell yourself that you are capable of succeeding and use that as the spring board for moving forward. Think about all the benefits that are associated with your success. Also, consider what your life would be like without this accomplishment and ask which do you like better.

For many, proving something can be done is enough for them and they move on. If you want to accomplish something, you need to push past this feeling. While it may be true that the thrill of proving it to yourself is gone, there is still more to do to keep the momentum going.

Otherwise, you will constantly be chasing new thrills and never fully accomplish any one thing.