Scared of your own success?

Scared of your own success?

Scared of your own success?


Did you know that more people are afraid to succeed than they are to fail? There is one big reason for this, and it may surprise you when you learn about it.

When people fail, they can find all kinds of reasons or excuses as to why they failed. Others will even chime in as to why the person failed. They will say things like, “it wasn’t meant to be.” Another common one is, “your heart wasn’t in it.”

When people succeed, however. There are no excuses. The steps they took, worked. Perhaps it was a fluke that it worked. But what if it happens again? Then, there is no way out of it. Failure has an escape plan; success does not.

The reason people are afraid of success is it forces them out of their comfort zone. They now have to solidify their game plan and continue on the successful path. They can no longer tell people it can’t be done because they did it. It’s proven.

How do you overcome that fear of success? You plow through it. If you ever saw the movie Caddyshack, Ty tells Danny to “be the ball.” Although a comical reference, it means Danny needs to be one with the ball to play better golf.



You need to be one with your business concept, so to speak.

If you feel as though you can’t repeat the single success you had, think about what it took to get there, in the first place. If you can map out the steps, this can serve as your road map to repeat your success. If you find it difficult to do this, see about hiring qualified people who can help you succeed.

Another way to repeat your success is to realign your belief system. Tell yourself that you are capable of succeeding and use that as the spring board for moving forward. Think about all the benefits that are associated with your success. Also, consider what your life would be like without this accomplishment and ask which do you like better.

For many, proving something can be done is enough for them and they move on. If you want to accomplish something, you need to push past this feeling. While it may be true that the thrill of proving it to yourself is gone, there is still more to do to keep the momentum going.

Otherwise, you will constantly be chasing new thrills and never fully accomplish any one thing.

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STEP 1 & 2 GET CLEAR (Yes, getting clear about what you want and don’t want is so important to your success, it’s covered in 2 steps.)




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7 Steps To Success

7 Steps To Success

7 Steps To Successful Mindset

It’s no secret that your state of mind will make the difference between you achieving the results you want and getting more of the same.

How do you develop a more successful mindset?

I recommend you get some paper and a pen, open a word, google doc, the notes app is also useful.

Ask yourself the questions dotted through this post and write down your answers, thoughts and insights to get truly make the most out of this article.

Here are the 7 Steps:

Step 1. Keep It Real

Big goals with little to no planning and inconsistent action = no results. This is discouraging.

You want to have goals that are big enough to inspire and excite you, and also scare you a bit too.

If you’re having trouble meeting your goals and keeping a positive mindset I invite you to follow this process.

1. Stop. Take a step back. Breathe deep and take a look around. What do you hear, see and feel, smell and taste in this moment.

2. Pause here for as long as you want.

3. Then grab your journal, paper or document and write about where you’re at in relation to where you want to be in terms of your goals.

4. When you feel you’ve got it all down on paper, reflect and ask yourself:

  • Do you still want to achieve that goal?

If not,

  • Do you know what you want instead? Then move to number 5.

If you still want your goals, move to number 5.

5. What’s the next step you can take that will move you forwards?

6. Is there a step you need to take before that step?

Note: Repeating this question until you can’t chunk it down anymore will set you up for success.

7. Celebrate each success along the way to your big dream! Record your successes.

8. Look back on these successes when you feel discouraged, or lacking motivation. It will spur you on to keep going!

Step 2. Challenge Yourself

I am uncomfortable with feeling stagnant. I start to slip into negative thought patterns, I become down, disillusioned and depressed.

Is this you too?

If it’s too easy to meet your goals, perhaps they’re not big enough.

Challenge yourself, but strategically. In other words, set yourself up for success. Working through all of these steps will support your success.

Step 3. Watch The Company You Keep

When you hang around with negative people, it tends to rub off.

Did you know we become the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with?

Who are you spending your time with? Do they lift and encourage you and others up, are they cheerleaders and want you and others to succeed?

Or do they pull you and others down, never anything nice to say, always complaining?

Lock down could make being selective about the company you keep more difficult but as we begin our day to day life again it’s a good time to seek look at who we’re surrounding ourselves with.

Want to be upbeat? Find the upbeat people. Want to be successful? Be around successful people.

Step 4. Know Your Why

Write a list of all the reasons why you want your goals.

Look at this list whenever you feel overwhelmed or negative. Remind yourself of why you’re doing this. This list might include financial goals, too, and why you want to earn that money.

One of my biggest mindset turnarounds relates to money and the story I’ve been telling myself about it.

For the past 20 years I’ve undervalued myself, rarely charging anything for my services and when I did charge, I’d feel such guilt and shame about it that I’d try throwing the money back at people.

I’ve overcome so many limiting beliefs it’s worthy of a separate post.

For now, step 4 is to write down all your reasons why and refer to it when you feel yourself slip onto a slippery slope of negativity or doubt.

Step 5. Stop Passing The Buck

Don’t blame others for your failures.

And don’t beat yourself up over them, either.

A healthier way to handle failure is to take responsibility for it and learn from it.

Think of it as a motivational moment – you can improve and avoid making the same mistakes again.

Affirmation: “Failure and struggle are stepping stones to my next success”.

JK Rowling didn’t seal the deal with the first publisher she sent the final Harry Potter to. It was the 13th.

If you really want something, go for it again.

Step 6. Be Bold

I’m all for brainstorming hurdles along the path of reaching a goal but you can be too cautious.

Being too cautious will stop you from taking any action at all.

Ask yourself:

How many back-up plans do you like to have before you’ll take a risk or embark on a new venture?

What do you dream of doing but keep thinking yourself out of?

Imagine doing that really big scary thing, how do you feel looking back on the experience? 

What would it mean to you if you took a big, bold move towards it?

Being sensible about risks is healthy, but being overly cautious can paralyze you.

Step 7. Confidence In Your Abilities

Sometimes it’s hard to believe in yourself, your unique experiences and the skills you have. Many of you will be thinking you have ZERO talent, ZERO skill, ZERO experience, ZERO to bring to the table.

But if you want to develop a success mindset I invite you to sit and really reflect on the roles and responsibilities you currently have. If you run a home you manage money and tasks. Are you the go-to person when your friends are in a crisis?

You do have an abundance of skill and an abundance of potential. You just can’t see it right now. Here’s a few questions to help you with that.

Ask yourself: 

  • What are some of the biggest challenges in my life? How did I overcome them?
  • Remember your first achievement? What was it? No matter how big or small you think it is.
  • All achievement is achievement. How did you feel when you achieved it? Was it easy? Did you achieve it first time you went for it?
  • What do you enjoy doing? (We usually enjoy what we are good at!)

Have confidence in your skills. There may be others who have similar skills, but no one is uniquely you!

Here’s my favourite quote, you’ll see it at the bottom of my emails.

“Be yourself, every one else is taken” Oscar Wilde

What next?

Feel inspired to take action but don’t know where to start?

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  • get clear about what you want (and don’t want),
  • identify guiding lights or role models that inspire you to keep going.
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  • Then repeat.

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5 Thought Patterns That Help You Grow By Letting Go!

5 Thought Patterns That Help You Grow By Letting Go!

Letting go of what happened in the past will help create new opportunities for you. The kind of opportunities that are impossible to notice while entertaining your pain. It does not matter what you have been through. It does not matter how many times you have fallen, there’s always a way of bouncing back up. It all starts in your head. It starts and ends with the kind of thoughts you entertain. If you constantly dwell on your unfortunate past and the scars you are left with you will miss out on the good things that are waiting to happen to you.

Renewal begins with making the decision that you are going to be renewed. It begins with realizing that the kind of transformation needed will only come to life when you guard your thoughts. Stop entertaining negative thoughts. Get rid of the kind of thinking that leaves you feeling worse than you are. Ignore thoughts that make you feel inferior, leave you upset about what happened to you in the past, and thoughts that add salt to a healing wound.

Start dwelling on thoughts that will act as a shield against the pain you have been through. Entertain the kind of thinking that makes you want to forgive more, forget more, and love more. You are the only person who can heal your mind and heart from the painful experiences you’ve had. That is because you are the only person who truly understands the hurting you are going through. Promise yourself that your scars will heal and start doing what you need to do to ensure healing.

Positive Thoughts Can Help With The Healing Process

Thinking happy thoughts that are both positive and productive can help with the healing process. Your heart, body, and soul can receive healing if you decide to live a life centered on thinking positively. Find strength by developing a healthy thought process. Instead of thinking of why the most important business deal failed to go through, start thinking about ways of improving your services and marketing skills to land a better deal.

Instead of worrying about why you failed to graduate when your dream job depended on it, start thinking of creative ways to earn money while giving yourself yet another shot at graduating. Once you choose to focus on something else while working on your main goal on the side, disappointments will not weigh in on you as much as they presently are.

Here are Five Proven Examples Of Thought Patterns That Lead To Healing

  1. Thoughts of transformation or change.

You can only start experiencing renewal or change by making the choice that you are going to change. Dwelling on thoughts of transformation and imagining yourself as the kind of person you wish to transform into will assist with the healing process.

  1. Thoughts of becoming who you are meant to be.

Replace thoughts such as “I will never be able to get over it” with “the pain that I am experiencing will pass”, or “I’m still standing, there’s still hope.” . Speak renewal to your soul. Meditate, and renew your thought process. Do whatever you need to do to train your mind to block out negative thoughts that bring painful memories and start entertaining less painful ones.

  1. Thoughts of letting go of your past.

As simple as this may sound, thinking about letting go of your painful experience is an important step of letting go of the hurt that is inside you. It’s the first step towards healing and it is the only step that will give you the courage to start letting go.

  1. Thoughts of offering forgiveness.

Being able to forgive where you have been wronged is a sign of strength and not weakness. It is the only way you can have a distinct picture of who you can become. If the person who has wronged you is not making it easy for you to forgive them, forgive them anyway. If they are not apologizing for the damage caused, forgive them anyway for it is through forgiveness that we find inner peace. The kind of peace that becomes apparent on the outside once it occurs on the inside.

  1. Thoughts of forgiving yourself.

If you are failing to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made in the past you will never find peace. Concentrating on the regrets you have will not help you with the healing process. It is when you let go of your past that you will be able to go after your future.

I share the above with you because I have a propensity to get stuck on negative feedback loops that cause me nothing but pain. When left unchecked I begin to feel physically and mentally fatigued, joyless, and eventually numb. My mind is not always my best friend, I’ve practiced all of the above steps many times. They work. Letting go works for me. How long it takes me to remember that fact can vary.

If any of the above resonates and you’d like to share with me personally then I’d like to invite you to have a 1-1, let’s talk. Well actually, you talk, I’ll listen. It’s my super power! 🙂


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