Consider a different perspective

Consider a different perspective

Regaining Self-Esteem After A Setback

A setback in your self-esteem can be a debilitating blow. Job losses, break-ups, and fights with your best friend or gaining five pounds after losing twenty can all set you back. The list of potential setbacks to your self-esteem is endless. No matter what event or bad day has set you back, know you can make a comeback. You can regain your self-esteem.

Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is your inner sense of self-worth and self-respect. Sometimes, in the wake of a setback, it can feel difficult to acknowledge or truly feel that you are worthy of even your own respect. This drop in self-esteem can lead to bigger problems and really diminish your quality of life as a whole.

Consider a Different Perspective

Sometimes the best course of action to come back from a setback like this is to look outside yourself. Consider your entire ordeal from a different perspective. It may help you shine some light on the issue at hand, and help you overcome your loss of confidence.

Here are some perspectives you can try:

Walk in someone else’s shoes. Everybody makes mistakes, and there are no exceptions to that rule. No one is perfect, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t worthy of love and respect. To put this in perspective, try seeing your situation from an outsider’s point of view. If someone else, especially someone you love, had gone through the same ordeal or made the same mistakes, would you want them to wrestle with low self-esteem? If the person that you are picturing is worthy of self-respect, then so are you.

Setback or step up?

If your setback comes in the form of a life event such as a break-up or job loss, try considering the event as a step forward instead of a setback. Whatever happens, you’re always moving forward with your life. This event is just another stepping stone to what will surely be a bright future.

Understand your place in the world

Another perspective to consider is your overall place in the world. Sometimes remembering how many people there are on this planet, and how inexplicably big the universe is, can make your ordeal feel so much smaller.

Consider the Positives

When you’ve put your ordeal into perspective, consider also the positives of the situation. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself all your favorite things about yourself – your bright and beautiful eyes, your amazing smile, and your fun sense of humor. Start thinking about everything good you have, both inside and outside.

Know You’re Worthy

Remember that no matter what happens in life, no matter what mistakes you might have made or what setbacks have held you down, that you are worthy. You are worthy of the love and respect of the most important person in your life – you. 

Treat Yourself

To prove your love, do something to treat yourself. Get your hair done, go for a run, or buy a new outfit. Take a course or do something that makes you enjoy.

A blow to your self-esteem can be crippling if you let it. The strongest weapon in your arsenal is yourself. You can overcome this hurdle, but you must first believe you can, know you can move on from a set back and thrive again. 


How to help a partner with low self-esteem.

How to Help a Partner with Low Self-Esteem

It can be heartbreaking to watch someone you love wrestle with their own self-worth. Having a partner with low self-esteem not only hurts them, but it can affect your relationship as well. There are ways you can help, however.


Understanding Self-Esteem

To really be able to help your partner, you need to understand what self-esteem truly means and where it comes from. The truth is that self-esteem is deeper than just dressing the part. To make real changes, you will need to dig deep. Self-esteem isn’t just about feeling good about how you look or having confidence. Self-esteem means having a sense of self-worth and self-respect.

Look to the Past

A lot of times people with low self-esteem feel the way they do because of something that has happened to them in the past. It could even be something they learned from a parent or someone else close to them.

Talk It Out

Without pressuring your partner too much, it may help to talk about their issues. They may or may not be willing to discuss their feelings of self-worth, and might even brush the whole situation off as silly. It’s important that you do not force the issue too much, as you want them to come around in their own time and not feel pressured.

Consider Therapy

Sometimes, especially if the situation is particularly bad or is affecting your daily lives, seeing a therapist can help get to the root of the problem. Your partner may be more comfortable talking to a professional, and you need to be okay with that too.

Show Unconditional Love

No matter what, it is very important that you maintain and show your unconditional love for your partner. The very idea that you love them unconditionally, even when they cannot find that love for themselves, is going to be what keeps you both holding on.

Speak Your Affections

Your partner may not understand or realize their self-worth, but you do. Let them know by speaking your affections out loud and often. Avoid making it all about their physical looks, though; remember that self-esteem is much deeper than that. When you can, tell your partner all of the ways that they are a good person and how deserving they are of love and respect.

Be Patient

Teaching another person about themselves is a daunting and sometimes near impossible task. You might be feeling irritated, upset, or your own self-esteem might take a few hits as well. Try to be patient and give your loved one the time and space that they require.

Don’t Give Up

Most importantly, don’t give up on your partner. Low self-esteem is a deep and complex issue, so it will take time and work. It’s not your job to fix them, but you can help them by having patience and the strength to ensure that they get help.

With patience, love, and determination, you can help your partner overcome their low self-esteem. It may be a tough process with heartbreaking moments, but the two of you can make it through. Have hope and confidence that your partner will eventually, in time, come around and see themselves for the wonderful loving person you know them to be.


8 Self-Esteem Influencers

There are many factors in life that influence your self-esteem.

These factors can either build your self-esteem up, or pull you down.


Your childhood is one of the main contributing influences to your self-esteem. As you are growing up and your personality and everything else are developing, everyone around you has the potential to influence the person you become – including your self-esteem.

For example, children that grow up in particularly chaotic home environments tend to have lower confidence and self-esteem. Children that grow up in unstable homes tend to carry that burden with them throughout their entire lives.


The pressures of society are a main contributor of low self-esteem. There are so many demands to live a certain way, dress a certain way, have a certain kind of job and act accordingly. These pressures can weigh on you, and succumbing to the pressure can often lead to low self-esteem.


Our absolute obsession with the media, whether it is print ads, television, or social media, contributes to the dilemma of widespread self-esteem issues. The ready access of social media especially helps to influence young minds especially with the pressure to look, act, or otherwise be like celebrities, public figures, or even their peers. It can be hard not to compare yourself to others even as an adult, but young people struggle with this even more than adults.


Some religions and other belief systems can contribute to your sense of self-worth. On the one hand, some religions and belief systems can build you up as a person and fill your life with love and joy. On the other, some religions suggest that people are inherently bad and that you are a “sinner” no matter how you live your life. While no belief system is inherently bad in itself, sometimes these practices and ideas can influence self-esteem.

Friends and Family

The people you spend time with have a big influence on your self-esteem. Your friends can help you build up your confidence, self-image, and self-respect, or they can bring you down. Some people even purposefully bring each other down to build themselves up, whether or not they are aware of what they are doing.

The family that you grew up with, as well as the family that you come home to, can have an effect on your self-esteem as well. Feelings of inadequacy when it comes to providing for your family can add to a low self-esteem, while a family that works together and builds each other up can contribute to a healthy self-esteem.

Romantic Involvements

All relationships can influence your self-esteem, but romantic relationships tend to have the biggest effect. Being in a happy and loving relationship can boost your self-esteem. On the other hand, a bad relationship can bring you down in so many ways. A bad break-up or being left by a partner can also weigh heavily on your confidence and self-esteem.

Work Environment

You spend so much of your life at work or at school, so it’s no wonder that that environment would influence every aspect of your life, including your self-esteem. A stressful and overly demanding job can often contribute to a low self-esteem, while a productive and encouraging workplace can help you grow stronger.


Your overall health can also contribute to your self-esteem. Taking care of yourself, body, mind and spirit can strengthen all aspects of yourself including your self-esteem.

Overall, there are so many factors that can influence your self-esteem. Every part of your life has influence, and therefore has power over your self-esteem. But, the person with the most control over your self-esteem is yourself. Practice giving yourself good messages; avoid self-bullying in order to build up your self-esteem.


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