Your conscious mind processes what you see and what you feel. It makes decisions. It reacts to the outcomes. It plays a role in how you think and the decisions that you make. However, your conscious mind only plays a part. Your unconscious mind plays a larger role.

                          Words of Wisdom

“The fact of the matter is that our unconscious is wiser than we are about everything.” M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

Your unconscious mind draws from past experiences to determine how to deal with a current situation. It doesn’t possess the cognitive ability to process thoughts, it can simply recall a memory and run a program based on that recollection. That could be a negative or positive thing.

Unfortunately, while less cognitive, your unconscious mind is more powerful than the conscious. For example, it’s three o’clock in the afternoon and you feel your energy and focus dipping. Your conscious mind suggests a cup of coffee. You make moves to brew a pot full of your favourite blend, and in a heart beat your unconscious mind questions whether that’s a good idea.

Voice of Reason or Nag? “It’s a bit late in the day for all that caffeine, you might have trouble sleeping.”

You start debating with yourself.

This is a basic dilemma you might face, there are much bigger situations that your conscious and unconscious mind will argue and debate.

Early Unconscious Programming

You go through many experiences during a lifetime. From being in your mothers womb to toddler to childhood, teenager to adulthood, everything’s imprinted on your unconscious and whether experiences were bad or good, they’re lodged in your unconscious. Your unconscious mind is like a hard drive that has enough space for everything you ever experience. Amazing isn’t it?

You may move on from many things as you grow up but your unconscious never forgets. It can throw up memories, feelings and thoughts at any moment. Have you ever walked past someone and caught the smell of their perfume or after shave? Did you remember something or someone when you smelt it? Whether you realize it or not, your unconscious mind is influencing your emotions, feelings, and decisions. You make decisions based on the thoughts and established patterns programmed into your psyche.

It sounds safe, yet this can prevent you from making the right decisions. Which can result in consequences that create regret, pain, and suffering. In the grand scheme of things, this habitual thinking can cause you to feel insecure, inadequate, and unworthy. It influences your self-confidence. It can hold you back when all you want to do is move forward. So, even if you desperately want to do and be better, you’re rendered powerless to do so.

You may have struggled at school or had someone tell you how bad at something you were. You’re probably recalling a whole reel of memories of people that have put you down.

That sticks in there, in your memory banks. It might be out of sight but it isn’t out of mind. Those experiences can manifest or “trigger” down the line as you are faced with something similar.

Picture the scene – you’re at your 5th job interview this month and you’re feeling not desperate anymore, it’s worse. You feel hopeless. You’re already telling yourself that you may aswell be at home, you won’t get the job anyway. You believe you aren’t hireable because you haven’t been successful so far, why would you now?  Your confidence has been knocked with each and every rejection.

Overcoming Your Unconscious Mind

Luckily, you can overcome your unconscious mind and the cycles it has you stuck in. If you struggle because you lack confidence, know that you can rebuild it by reprogramming the current one you’re running. I’ve worked to overcome a lack of confidence myself so I know you can do it. If I can do it, anyone can do it!

Some of you will be drawn to therapy and others to the reams of self-help material out there; podcasts, webinars, books, courses. You might find a sympathetic ear and guidance from friends or family helpful too.

If all you take from this today is that even if you think you can’t – know you can build your confidence like you build muscle in a gym, if you’re prepared to work it!

How motivated are you right now to do something about your confidence? Scale it 1-10, 10 being the most motivated you’ve ever felt and 1 for not at all motivated.

Are you motivated enough to take a step towards overcoming your unconscious mind and rebuilding your confidence?

If any of what you’ve read today resonates with you then I invite you to have a chat with me about what life is like for you and whether my coaching approach would be beneficial to you.

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