Do you remember when you were a kid, and a bully called you a name or made fun of you? My Mom told me to tell either ignore them or respond with, “sticks and stones may hurt my bones but names will never hurt me!”
You might be familiar with these wise words too, “I am rubber, and you are glue. What you say bounces off of me and sticks to you,”
Ok, I learnt quickly that saying that response out loud to a bully often led to them doubling over with laughter making the whole situation worse BUT I realised that it was powerful enough to just say it in your head as you walk away. The reality is that sometimes shit sticks, as much I said that names will never hurt me they clearly did and it has taken years to overcome the self-limiting beliefs that my personal experience created.
Here at the Hub we teach that building resilience means equipping yourself with tools that help to grow the confidence you have in yourself; your own personal power, to cope with challenges and obstacles.
Psychologists have studied the link between resilience and personal power. They’ve determined that these key aspects of resilience help support personal power:
- Focusing on the Present Supports Faith in Yourself
- Learning from Your Failures Supports Self-Acceptance
- Positive Thinking Supports Courage in Your Principles
- Stress Management Supports Being Yourself
- Changed Perspective Supports Choosing Your Response
Focusing on the Present Supports Faith in Yourself
Resilience requires focusing on the present. You can’t be resilient if you distract yourself from your goals by worrying about the past or future. Learning to focus on the present supports your personal power by understanding and giving you faith in yourself. Since you can’t change the past, you need to focus on what you can do now to improve your future. Believing that you have the power to shape your future shows your personal control.
Learning from Your Failures Supports Self-Acceptance
Instead of blaming others, resilient people understand how they contributed to a failure. Resilient people are willing to examine their life and look for ways to overcome difficulty. They use mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.
Acknowledging your role in failure also allows you to own your part in success. Self-acceptance means you have worked hard to understand yourself, including your strengths and weaknesses. When you learn from your failures, you build the self-awareness that leads to self-acceptance. Because you accept yourself, your personal power is built on your resilience to life’s obstacles.
Positive Thinking Supports Courage in Your Principles
Even when bad things happen, resilient people think positively by looking for ways to resolve and overcome obstacles. They don’t let others define their opinions or principles. Because resilient people stay focused on positive outcomes, they aren’t easily swayed by the negative views of others. When you think positively, your principles are based on knowing you can and will succeed. Your belief in yourself creates personal power.
Stress Management Supports Being Yourself
Resilient people experience stressful situations in life. Instead of letting stress overwhelm them, they have learned to manage their lives to work through stress. Resilient people understand that not everything that causes stress is horrible or never-ending. Stress can be a motivator and teacher too.
Knowing how to process stress and work through it supports your personal power and being yourself. Because a resilient person doesn’t allow other’s expectations of them to cause stress, they are free to be who they are. In fact, being true to yourself often causes less stress once you learn to feel comfortable with your opinions and principles. Being yourself builds your personal power and allows you to take the time needed to recharge, grow, and achieve.
Changed Perspective Supports Choosing Your Response
Personal power isn’t about control over others. Personal power is control over yourself. Resilient people’s positive perspective of learning, growing, and living in the present supports the ability to choose the best response to any situation. Choosing your personal response without interference from negative forces is the definition of personal power.
It’s impossible to build and maintain personal power without resilience. As the cornerstone of personal power, resilience provides the skills of focusing on the present, learning and growth, positive thinking, and stress management.
These skills change your perspective and support your personal power by helping you chose your response despite outside influences by building faith in yourself and your principles, self-acceptance, and the courage to be yourself and chose your best outcome.